We’ve started using the term absence anxiety instead of separation anxiety because we believe it better reflects what’s actually going on for many puppies.
Most puppies aren’t distressed because they are “too attached” to their owners, they are simply unsure about being left alone. Puppies are naturally wired to seek safety and companionship, so it’s completely normal for them to feel uncertain when their humans suddenly disappear.
Signs can include crying, following owners constantly, difficulty settling alone, barking, pacing, or chewing when left. For many puppies, this is a normal developmental stage rather than a serious behavioural issue.
The good news is that confidence and independence can be taught gradually. Short absences, calm departures, enrichment activities, crate training, and encouraging independent settling can all help puppies learn that being alone is safe and temporary.
We believe the term absence anxiety encourages a more compassionate and realistic understanding of puppy behaviour. Rather than labelling puppies as “anxious” or “clingy,” it reminds us that they are simply learning an important life skill, how to feel safe and confident when alone.
When people hear the phrase separation anxiety, it can sound quite serious or make owners feel like their puppy has a major behavioural problem. But for most young puppies, that’s not really the case. More often, they’re simply learning how to feel safe and confident when their humans are temporarily absent.
Puppies are naturally wired to seek comfort, safety and companionship. In the wild, being left alone could be dangerous, so it’s completely normal for young puppies to feel uncertain when someone they rely on suddenly disappears. Crying when you leave the room, following you everywhere, or struggling to settle alone isn’t a puppy being “naughty,” it’s communication.
That’s why we prefer the wording absence anxiety. It shifts the focus away from the idea of a puppy being “too attached” and instead acknowledges that they are simply learning that being alone can still feel safe.
Common Signs of Absence Anxiety
Many puppies will show mild signs of absence anxiety at some stage, including:
- Crying or barking when left alone
- Following owners constantly
- Pacing or scratching at doors
- Difficulty settling independently
- Toileting accidents when left alone
- Chewing or destructive behaviour during absences
- Refusing food or enrichment when alone
The reassuring part is that mild absence anxiety is incredibly common and does not mean your puppy is destined to develop severe long-term anxiety.
Confidence and Independence Are Learned Skills
Just like toilet training or lead walking, independence is something puppies learn gradually over time. Puppies don’t automatically understand that when you leave, you’ll always come back.
We begin building these foundations early through our From Whelp to Woof! Puppy Prodigy Program. Our puppies experience gentle independence-building exercises including:
- Short periods apart from littermates
- Safe crate and pen experiences
- Enrichment activities
- Confidence-building exercises
- Exposure to different textures, sounds and environments
- Learning to self-settle calmly
These early experiences help puppies develop resilience before they ever leave for their new homes.
Mistakes We Often See Owners Make
Sometimes, owners accidentally make absence anxiety worse, usually because they care so much.
A few common examples include:
Constant attention
If puppies are never encouraged to settle independently, they can become reliant on constant interaction.
Emotional departures
Big goodbyes can unintentionally signal to puppies that something worrying is happening.
Leaving puppies alone too long too soon
Puppies need independence built gradually, not all at once.
Only leaving while puppies are asleep
Some puppies panic when they wake up and suddenly realise their person is gone.
How to Help Your Puppy Feel More Confident
The good news is there are lots of simple ways to gently build independence at home.
- Start with very short absences
- Keep departures calm and routine
- Encourage independent play with enrichment toys and chews
- Reward calm behaviour and self-settling
- Gradually increase alone time over time
- Avoid the “cry it out” approach
One of the biggest things we remind owners is that confidence grows through small, successful experiences.
Crates Can Be a Helpful Safe Space
When introduced positively, crates can actually help many puppies feel secure and settled. A crate should never be used as punishment. Instead, it becomes a cosy, predictable space associated with rest, comfort and safety.
Many puppies genuinely relax better in a calm enclosed environment.
Modern Life Has Changed Puppy Expectations
These days, many puppies grow up in homes where someone is almost always around. Working from home and bringing dogs everywhere has become increasingly common, which is lovely in many ways, but it can also mean puppies get fewer opportunities to practise being alone.
The goal shouldn’t be a puppy who is never left alone.
The goal should be a puppy who feels safe, calm and confident when left alone for reasonable periods.
That’s an incredibly important life skill.
When to Seek Extra Help
While mild absence anxiety is normal, some puppies do need additional support. If your puppy becomes extremely distressed, injures themselves trying to escape, or cannot settle even for very short periods, it’s important to seek guidance from a qualified trainer or behaviourist early.
Our families also benefit from discounted access to the Oodleway program – a comprehensive online training platform designed specifically for Oodles and Cavoodles. The program provides guidance on puppy training, settling in, toilet training, confidence building, and common behavioural challenges, helping families continue positive training once their puppy goes home. Our puppies also work with our trainer Kylie from Dog Bizness before leaving for their new homes, learning early foundations such as confidence building, enrichment, handling, and basic training skills. We believe these early experiences help set our puppies and families up for success and are an important point of difference in our program.
Changing the language from separation anxiety to absence anxiety may seem like a small shift, but we believe words matter.
For us, it better reflects what puppies are actually feeling, uncertainty during absence, rather than unhealthy attachment. Most importantly, it reminds owners that this isn’t about “bad behaviour.” It’s about helping puppies build confidence, resilience and trust through gentle, positive experiences.